If you meet an elder daughter this week, give her a hug and maybe an all-expenses-paid vacation. She’s been holding it down for her siblings, her parents, and probably a few neighborhood kids since the dawn of time. It’s no wonder some eldest daughters are rethinking the idea of starting their own families.

“By the time I get married, I think my maternal instincts will be completely depleted,” my friend told me. She’s the first daughter in her family, and she said it so casually, with the weariness of someone who has done enough “mothering” for a lifetime. It turns out, she’s not alone.

On the internet, eldest daughters everywhere are uniting over shared stories of growing up as the unofficial CEO of their families handling responsibilities they never signed up for. Between managing siblings, household chores, and even their parents’ emotions, the life of the eldest daughter often feels like a full-time job. Throw in the phrase “eldest daughter syndrome,” coined by family therapist Kati Morton, and you’ve got a solid case for why the first-born sisters deserve a collective standing ovation.

But hey, it’s not all bad. Eldest daughters may be tired, but they’re also strong, resourceful, and low-key superheroes. Let’s take a light-hearted look at what makes the eldest daughter syndrome both a blessing and a curse.

Why Eldest Daughters Deserve Their Own Holiday:

1. CEO of Sibling Operations: From breaking up toddler brawls to sneaking snacks for their younger siblings, eldest daughters have been in the trenches of sibling management since day one. Sure, it builds character, but it also builds stress and those random gray hairs at 25.

2. Household Chore Olympics: If dishwashing were an Olympic sport, the eldest daughters would have gold medals by now. And don’t even mention the “because you’re the oldest” logic behind cleaning up everyone else’s mess.

3. Mini-Therapist Extraordinaire: Family drama? Call the eldest daughter. From diffusing arguments to giving unsolicited advice that’s always right, she’s been the go-to emotional support system for years. The only downside! She might end up giving too much in her adult relationships.

Being the eldest daughter is no small feat. It’s a role filled with challenges, unspoken expectations, and moments of sheer exhaustion. But it’s also a role that shapes resilient, compassionate, and incredibly capable women. So, if you’re the eldest daughter reading this, remember: You’re allowed to say no, take breaks, and, yes, even book that spa day.

And for the rest of us! Hug the eldest daughter today. Or better yet, do her dishes. Trust me she’s earned it.

By Edima Columbus