It’s no secret that men tend to leave the stage earlier than women in Africa. You’ve probably noticed how many times you’ve heard someone talk about losing a father but grandma is still alive and kicking. But why does it seem like men age faster, take on more stress, and are surrounded by so many stepfathers which will become their exclusive duty? Let’s dive into what’s going on.

The Grandma Paradox
Ever wondered why your friends are more likely to introduce you to their grandmother than their father? Well, blame it on biology, stress, and an overwhelming load of responsibilities. Men often have shorter life spans, mainly because they’re carrying the weight of providing for the family emotionally, financially, and sometimes even spiritually. They’re expected to “man up,” which is society’s way of saying, “You got this! But… also handle it alone.”

Emotional Health and the ‘Strong Man’ Myth
Society places a heavy expectation on men to be the providers, the strong ones, and the problem-solvers and rarely gives them room to process emotions. Mental health for men? It’s almost a taboo subject in some places. So, what happens? They internalize stress, responsibilities pile up, and their health goes downhill. Meanwhile, women, who are more open about their emotional needs, have learned to process and release. Grandmas thrive because they have figured out the secret to balance.

The Stepdad Society
When we talk about stepfathers being more common than stepmothers, it may point to men’s role as providers once again. Many men are willing to step into a family situation because they’ve been trained to take on responsibility. But more importantly, women tend to have primary custody of children in the event of a separation, meaning that men are more likely to become stepdads than the reverse. It’s less about stepping up and more about being available to take on the role.

Why Should Men Write the Will?
Wills have often been associated with men because historically, they were the ones who managed the financial and property affairs. But in modern times, we’re seeing this shift. Women are earning and bringing in their share, so the pressure of estate planning shouldn’t fall on just the man. Both partners should share in the responsibility of planning for the future. It’s a team effort after all a strong table needs four legs, right?

Marrying for Value
Here’s where the modern man needs to take notes. The days of men marrying liabilities are over. Marriage today should be about balance and partnership. The idea that men must marry women who bring something to the table—whether it’s financial, emotional, or intellectual support is not just a suggestion, it’s essential for survival. When both partners are contributing, it lightens the load and men don’t feel like the weight of the world rests solely on their shoulders.

The Recipe for Health and Happiness
The reason for untimely death and stress in men often boils down to their lifestyle and choices. So here’s some advice: men, don’t just marry for love, marry for value. Pick a partner who understands the importance of balance, someone who can contribute emotionally, financially, and mentally. The saying “behind every great man is a great woman” has never been truer.

Society has long placed expectations on men to be the strong ones, the providers, and the protectors. But those days are shifting, and we’re realizing that men need emotional and psychological support too. They’re more than what they bring to the table. So let’s lighten the load, share the responsibilities, and remember: a healthy relationship is one where both partners bring value, not just dinner to the table.

And dads, please don’t stress about writing that Will it’s a team sport now!

By Edima Columbus