Awele

You’d think working as a banker would be exhausting enough. But life? Oh, life had to throw in a few extra twists, just to make sure I’m never bored. Between navigating a long-distance relationship, supporting my two younger sisters through university, and dealing with the never-ending demands of my job, I feel like I’m constantly one step away from a breakdown. But somehow, here I am, smiling (mostly), surviving (definitely), and sometimes laughing at the whole mess.

Let’s start with Emeka, my boyfriend, and part-time headache. He’s miles away, in another city, and while he swears distance makes the heart grow fonder, I’m not convinced. Some days, I trust him completely, and then there are the nights especially the long, quiet ones when I start overthinking. There’s always that nagging voice at the back of my mind whispering, What if? But I try to push it away, reminding myself that I signed up for this.

Our relationship has its quirks. For one, we’ve mastered the art of virtual dates. Picture me eating instant noodles on camera while he tries to cook some fancy meal in his kitchen. We also text constantly, updating each other on every mundane detail of our lives. And let’s not forget his obsession with sending those cheesy “good morning, beautiful” memes every day. I roll my eyes, but secretly, I kind of love it. He also insists on calling before bed every night, even if I’m already half-asleep, just to say goodnight. It’s sweet, but sometimes I just want to say, Emeka, please let me sleep in peace.

Then there’s work. Banking is a non-stop cycle of deadlines, high-stakes meetings, and clients who have no concept of office hours. My manager loves dumping work on my desk with the classic line, “I know you can handle it.” I’m starting to think that’s code for “There’s no one else to do it.” Every week, I feel like I’m playing catch-up, just barely staying afloat. I joke with my friends that I’m “living the high-stress dream,” but some days, I feel more like a hamster on a wheel, running in circles.

And, of course, my sisters. They’re the light of my life, and they drive me insane. Being the breadwinner for two college students is no joke, especially when those two have a taste for everything expensive and new sneakers every semester. I love them to death, but sometimes I wish I could turn off “big sister mode” and let someone else worry for a while. They think I’m some kind of superhero, but honestly, I’m just winging it.

The truth? Sometimes I dream of a simpler life. One where love isn’t defined by text messages and video calls, where my sisters don’t rely on me for every little thing, and where my job doesn’t feel like it’s consuming me whole. Just for once, I want to feel like I’m the one in control, not life.

But for now, I keep going. I find moments of peace in little things a hot cup of coffee, a funny meme, or a quick nap between meetings. It’s chaotic, it’s messy, and some days I feel like I’m barely keeping it together. But maybe that’s okay. This is my life, my little bit of chaos, and somehow, I’m making it work.