Ah, Sunday mornings! That sacred time of the week when every Nigerian household turns into a well-oiled machine, all aimed at one thing: getting to church on time. Growing up with Nigerian parents, you quickly learn that Sunday mornings are not for the faint of heart. Here’s a light-hearted take on what it’s like to navigate this beloved tradition.

7:00 AM – The Alarm Clock Conspiracy
You’d think waking up early for church would get easier with time. Nope! Every Sunday, the alarm feels like an unexpected visitor. And just as you’re considering hitting the snooze button, you hear your mom’s voice booming through the house: “Wake up! It’s time for church!” There’s no escape.

7:10 AM – The Battle for the Bathroom
In a typical Nigerian household, the bathroom schedule on Sunday mornings is a highly competitive affair. If you’re not quick, you’ll find yourself stuck in a queue that feels longer than a Lagos traffic jam. Siblings turn into Olympic sprinters, racing for the shower. Those few precious minutes you get in there? Pure gold.

7:30 AM – The Wardrobe Drama
Finding the perfect church outfit is no joke. Your mom has a sixth sense for spotting even the tiniest wrinkle or the slightest mismatched color. “Is that what you’re wearing?” she’ll ask, eyebrows raised. Back to the closet you go, hunting for something “more presentable.” Fashion show or church? Sometimes it’s hard to tell.

7:45 AM – Breakfast: The Ultimate Fuel
Breakfast on Sunday is both a treat and a tactical necessity. You need the energy to survive a potentially long church service. There’s always a spread fit for a king – akara (bean cakes), moi moi, fried plantain, and hot tea. The only challenge is eating fast enough to avoid the inevitable, “Hurry up, we’re going to be late!”

8:00 AM – The Great Bible Hunt
No matter how organized you think you are, the Bible somehow goes missing every Sunday morning. It’s a universal mystery. Everyone joins in the frantic search, turning the house upside down until it’s found, usually in the most obvious place.

8:15 AM – The Family Devotion
Just when you think you’re ready to go, it’s time for the pre-church family devotion. Your dad pulls out his well-worn Bible, and you all gather for a quick prayer. It’s a beautiful moment, but you can’t help but sneak a glance at the clock, hoping you won’t be late.

8:30 AM – The Car Ride Commotion
The ride to church is a blend of gospel music, last-minute sermon notes, and your mom reminding everyone of the importance of punctuality. The best part? The strategic maneuvering through traffic as your dad mutters about other drivers who “don’t know how to drive.”

8:55 AM – The Grand Arrival
Pulling into the church parking lot is like arriving at a royal event. You step out, smoothing your clothes, and walk in as if you weren’t just rushing five minutes ago. You greet the ushers with a smile, exchanging pleasantries as if you’re not slightly out of breath.

9:00 AM – The Final Victory
Finally, you’re seated in church, ready to start the service. You made it! Despite the chaos, there’s a sense of accomplishment. You look around at your family and feel a wave of love and unity. Sure, it’s a crazy routine, but it’s yours, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, here’s to Sunday mornings with Nigerian parents – a hilarious, heartwarming ritual that keeps you on your toes and reminds you of the importance of family, faith, and a little bit of humor.